This week I have taken it upon myself to solve one of the most important questions of our time. Nothing trivial or cliché like why are we here, where are we going, what is the meaning of existence. Oh no. No, mine is a much greater calling.

I have figured out why when you sneeze you go forwards instead of going backwards like you really should. I mean the air/snot mixture is coming out of the front and going out at speed, it's not inhaling so it makes no sense...until now. Ok, so think of your nose...as a jet pack, now when you sneeze, the mixture of stuff is the flames for that jet pack. Now if you went backwards, like you should, and your nose/jet pack was on then it would clearly fly right off your face with the added momentum of your head flying backwards. So your body knows this and forces itself forwards to keep the nose locked in the position it's in and stops it flying away from your face. So if you stayed in the same place your nose would fly upwards

I also have another theory about this, but it's as far fetched as Rich thinking he has a super power and that a banana shaped dong is normal. Now before I tell you this theory I want you to remember I already explained exactly why it happens, this was just a guess before I did all the research and shit.

So maybe your nose is really an alien spaceship, and the nostrils are the engines. So each time you sneeze it's the aliens trying to make a break for it and get back to their home planet, nose-ania, to report their findings on our planet and plan for the invasion. But our bodies are all "No, you're not going anywhere, the nose in the middle of my face is aesthetically pleasing, you can't leave, I'm not going to let you." and it keeps them there by thrusting forwards when they try their escape and keeps them as prisoners.

If someone can make a video and claim that the banana is the atheists nightmare claiming that it proves God exists than I can come up with shit like this and say it proves I am awesome.

I would feel bad about coming up with stuff like this at the age of 21, as when I was younger I always thought that by the time I was in my 20's I'd be more mature, like my sister is and was at this age. But then if Rich, who is nearly 22 (you old fucking cunt) can claim he has a super power of knowing when to poo...then I can come up with this as I'm younger and he's clearly setting a bad example.

Anyways, that is all for now. Na nite.

P.S. I can't believe that Microsoft Word doesn't think "Poo" is a word.