As read above... I've had a shit week.

So, to start off this week...
Sunday: Did TONS of bio homework... got screwed over by some friends.
Monday: Had a shit day at work.
Tuesday: Got no sleep, had to work for 10 hours (with a mean ass tech). Spent all my money on Christmas gifts, had a head ache.
Wednesday: Got stepped on by a horse (possibly) broke my toe, lost Richard's great grandmothers ring, drove off a cliff and died.
Thursday: cleaned shit

I'm ready to curl into a ball now...
On the good side of life, I get to sleep in tomorrow.
I'm engaged still.

Oh, here's a story. Acquaintance of mine messages me on msn yesterday... havn't spoken to her in about 6 months... she says this:

"I'm ingaged"
"engaged*"
"do you have any money I can have?"
"no"

Richard says if you can't even spell your relationship status... you shouldn't have that status...

People are stupid.
shitty week...

Happy Tuesday

When I decided that I was going to propose to Tamra, it was during one of the few times when we actually were apart. I was taking Harvey for a walk and was missing Tamra already. I thought that I'd see if Dick wanted to go in town with me, that way I could go there without Tamra and be very sneaky about the whole thing.
I made a plan with Dick to go in town and buy the ring. He wasn't surprised that I was buying an engagement ring, apparently that's a thing that I'd do. Who thought eh? Anyway, it turns out that Tamra decided to go in town with my Mum on the same day, which was great. So I just went in town a bit earlier than them, and hoped that they would not run into us.
During buying the ring, and looking at the many shops before hand, I told Dick to keep a look out – whilst being very cautious myself. Once I found the ring I liked, I went around a few more, but none of the others held a candle to it. So we went back and I bought it. Luckily, Tamra and my Mum didn't pass us. After buying the ring I went on to buy some decoy presents – a nice little watch from Argos, and some rechargeable AA batteries that she needed. Dick gave me a speech about how I could make the batteries seem like an amazing present. I would of used it, but it would of made the ring seem too insignificant.
I had been telling everyone I planned to do it in Paris, but wasn't entirely sure. Later I decided that in front of the Eiffel tower would be the best place.

We went on our trip to London, and I took the ring with us. Luckily Tamra trusted me with a bag, so I put it in the bottom of the bag at the back under some padding. With this, even if she reached into the bottom – which she would have no reason to do, she would reach a “fake” bottom, concealing the ring from her curious fingers. How cunning I am.
I kept the bag mostly with me, hardly keeping it out of my sight, I didn't want to lose the ring. I thought about proposing many times, and thought about how weird it will be to be engaged after I perform one simple act. I was a little worried, and mostly to nervous to do it in London. I also kept thinking “there will be a better time than this”.

From London we went to Paris on plane. After landing in Paris we made our way to the hotel, where the Eiffel tower was a 10 minute walk. “Perfect”, I thought, it should be easier to scope out the area and make a nice plan. At about 5pm Tamra said she was tired and wanted to have a nap, I used that time to go outside and look around the area to arrange the geographical aspect of our engagement night. I walked around, and picked out the place that I thought was perfect (it had to be in the middle, because symmetry is important, especially in these situations). I also picked out a nice restaurant to eat in.
In the end, the first night in Paris turned out quite badly. The first thing that went wrong was our meal – I thought I'd take her somewhere quite nice, and order something local to remember. Instead I got a raw beef patty thing, which just made her worry about me. Next we went up the Eiffel tower. Now, a lot of people would associate going up the Eiffel tower and proposing at the top to be romantic. But believe me, it's not. It's horrible, windy, a pain in the ass, and Tamra was not happy at all. Proposing tonight was out of the question, and to top it off she had a terrible cold.

I tried to take care of her the best I could, I didn't want to propose to her when she was really ill. The next day I planned a little better. We went around most of Paris, and for dinner we went to the super market and picked up some tortillas, pan au chocolates, and some Fanta. It actually made for a really nice meal. We ate it in our room, then later on in the night we took it to the Eiffel tower grounds – the large areas of grass behind it – and had a picnic. I thought about doing it the whole night. We sat on the grass and took some pictures, talked, ate, and refused alcohol from guys wandering around selling it. At this point she said she felt a little better. All I could think about was how after tonight everything will be so different, yet the same. How we'll be “fiancée and fiancé” instead of “boyfriend and girlfriend”, we'll be “engaged” instead of “going out”. It made me so happy yet so nervous at the same time.

I thought more and more about doing it, eventually it started raining. We took shelter under the nearby trees. It stopped raining and we went back onto the grass, only to take cover again when it started a few minutes later. We sat on a bench under the trees and Tamra started being silly. I thought it was so weird how she had no idea what was coming, we cuddled a bit and we spoke about how we were so glad we are together. Sadly, even at this point I had to refrain from crying.

Minutes later the rain died down, and she suggested that we get back to the room. I told her I wanted to take one more picture from the middle, so we both walked to the middle and I reached into the bag. As I put the bag down on the floor I muttered something about how I lied about wanting to take a picture and my eyes filled with tears, I don't entirely know why still, but it was a big moment for me. As I put the bag down I went down on one knee and faced Tamra, opened the box, looked at her and asked “Tamra, will you marry me?”. She replied almost instantly with “Yes I'll marry you!”, she didn't even give me time to stand up, let alone put the ring on her finger. She came down to me and kissed me. After a short time I put the ring on her finger, I was glad it fit – and that I got it on the right hand. We stood up, and hugged and kissed for a long time. I still don't know how long it was. We didn't want that moment to end. She was trying not to cry, but I couldn't help it – I guess I am more of a pansy then she is.

The moment was interrupted many times by men wandering trying to sell us beer and champagne, but it was finally interrupted by a Polish man named Kami. He explained that he took our pictures and wanted to sent it to us because it looked really nice. I gave him my email address, and a few days later he had emailed them. It was so nice having a picture of us moments after we got engaged. His picture is on this post.

Later that night we went back to the hotel and crashed. Paris is a tiring place.

Here is where I proposed to her - Google Maps Link

This week I have taken it upon myself to solve one of the most important questions of our time. Nothing trivial or cliché like why are we here, where are we going, what is the meaning of existence. Oh no. No, mine is a much greater calling.

I have figured out why when you sneeze you go forwards instead of going backwards like you really should. I mean the air/snot mixture is coming out of the front and going out at speed, it's not inhaling so it makes no sense...until now. Ok, so think of your nose...as a jet pack, now when you sneeze, the mixture of stuff is the flames for that jet pack. Now if you went backwards, like you should, and your nose/jet pack was on then it would clearly fly right off your face with the added momentum of your head flying backwards. So your body knows this and forces itself forwards to keep the nose locked in the position it's in and stops it flying away from your face. So if you stayed in the same place your nose would fly upwards

I also have another theory about this, but it's as far fetched as Rich thinking he has a super power and that a banana shaped dong is normal. Now before I tell you this theory I want you to remember I already explained exactly why it happens, this was just a guess before I did all the research and shit.

So maybe your nose is really an alien spaceship, and the nostrils are the engines. So each time you sneeze it's the aliens trying to make a break for it and get back to their home planet, nose-ania, to report their findings on our planet and plan for the invasion. But our bodies are all "No, you're not going anywhere, the nose in the middle of my face is aesthetically pleasing, you can't leave, I'm not going to let you." and it keeps them there by thrusting forwards when they try their escape and keeps them as prisoners.

If someone can make a video and claim that the banana is the atheists nightmare claiming that it proves God exists than I can come up with shit like this and say it proves I am awesome.

I would feel bad about coming up with stuff like this at the age of 21, as when I was younger I always thought that by the time I was in my 20's I'd be more mature, like my sister is and was at this age. But then if Rich, who is nearly 22 (you old fucking cunt) can claim he has a super power of knowing when to poo...then I can come up with this as I'm younger and he's clearly setting a bad example.

Anyways, that is all for now. Na nite.

P.S. I can't believe that Microsoft Word doesn't think "Poo" is a word.

Seriously, a fucking banana. You have GOT to be kidding me. Yes, they're handy fruit with many good qualities, and they're tasty too - which is always a bonus for food. So, harmless food yes? WRONG!
Every day, millions of atheists suffer because of bananas. Their worst nightmare, personified into one nice yellow self packaged dong shaped fruit. These bananas line the streets of every country in the world, striking fear into the hearts and every day life of atheists across the globe.

Fucking Christians. Seriously, if anything it just proves evolution exists because it fit in monkeys hands better than ours. Douche bags!

So, I tried to find Mohinder Suresh, but he was too busy making people into gooey messes or something. I don't know what the hell is happening. He's a dick now, so I'll go find someone else to talk to about my ability. Also my house mate said that Mohinder Suresh could turn him, which I thought weird.
Who could turn you? Post your comments, they can be anonymous, I swears it. We don't log your IP or anything

Na Nite

P.S. My power is getting stronger. Whuzzuh!

Ok, I just read Rich's update and having done so I kinda needed to reply. I posted a comment but apparently it's racist towards me and didn't show up. Anyway, I have bigged up this power of his in the past in a sarcastic and mocking kind of way, but I always make it sound better than him. In his update he just sounds like a mental.
"I have the ability to KNOW HOURS in advance." Well so do I, and so does anyone. When I got up today I knew, without even dedicating time to think about it, that in a few hours of waking I would need a poo. Also how does Rich know when the time is getting closer? His farts start to really really smell bad...like everyone else’s, unless you're a woman, because I've been reliably informed by at least 2 women I know, that it's impossible for girlies to fart...or "break wind".
This is the very reason Rich was left out of Heroes, because they felt he ruined the narrative ark. The only way his power would remotely help would be if he was on a road trip in the show and didn't want to have to stop to use a rank toilet, or squat at the side of the road and risk something like a fly going up his exposed bum hole, so he pauses, farts, and goes "Can we leave in about" *sniff sniff* "10 mins?". There is nowhere for that power to go.

Anyway now I've done that I am off.

Na nite.

P.S. I wonder if a fly has ever flown up someone’s bum hole. Would you go to the doctors with that and risk them thinking "He's one of those people who puts animals up his bum...why a fly though? What was wrong with a hamster?"

Party Tuesday does not endorse putting hamsters or any small animals up your bum.